Anybody Out There
by Grannanatlanta
Summary: John leaned against the cell wall breathing in the disgusting smell of days without bathing and a proper toilet. He long ago lost track of how long he's been here. Cause I'm out on the edge and I'm screaming my name like a fool at the top of my lungs sometimes when I close my eyes I pretend I'm alright but it's never enough.


_Hello, hello__  
__anybody out there?__  
__'cause I don't hear a sound__  
__alone, alone__  
__I don't really know where the world is but I miss it now_

John leaned against the cell wall breathing in the disgusting smell of days without bathing and a proper toilet. He long ago lost track of how long he's been here. His captures have moved him around every once in a while though, it was the only time that he was aloud outside to see the sky and every time it was always done during the night, he wished to see the blue sky again just once. Sometimes he would hallucinate if he were left alone too long, during those times he would sometimes scream for hours. Other times when he was beaten for either talking back or punching the guard who fed him, he would cry a little but never aloud always silent and where he was hidden and his captures wouldn't see.

_I'm out on the edge and I'm screaming my name__  
__like a fool at the top of my lungs__  
__sometimes when I close my eyes I pretend I'm alright__  
__but it's never enough_

He would try and sleep through the most of it hoping that if he slept he could dream and pretend he was back in Atlantis sleeping in his bed. But that would only work for so long and then reality would smack him in the face again sometimes quit latterly.

_Cause my echo, echo__  
__is the only voice coming back__  
__my shadow, shadow__  
__is the only friend that I have_

His hallucinations were getting worse, his shadow had long ago transformed into Ford. Not that he was complaining it was kind of comforting to have a friend there with him even if they weren't real.

_listen, listen__  
__I would take a whisper if__  
__that's all you have to give__  
__but it isn't, isn't__  
__you could come and save me__  
__try to chase it crazy right out of my head_

He sometimes dreamed of the day that Atlantis would come and save him, but then it would be too late wouldn't it? He was already compromised his mind already broken a long time ago. Sometimes he thought he could hear a whisper of P-90 gun fire, but then it would disappear and it would be nothing.

_I'm out on the edge and I'm screaming my name__  
__like a fool at the top of my lungs__  
__sometimes when I close my eyes I pretend I'm alright__  
__but it's never enough__  
__cause my echo, echo__  
__is the only voice coming back__  
__my shadow, shadow__  
__is the only friend that I have_

"Colonel come on we have to get out of here." Major Lorne said standing outside the open cell door.

"No, no I have to stay here must not leave. It's against the rules." John said pacing in his cell.

Lorne looked at John concerned and sad all at once, he reached over and grabbed the Colonel's shoulders and made him face him.

"Colonel everything is fine no were taking you home were you'll be safe." Lorne said looking into the Colonel's eyes. While staring into them Lorne saw they were a bit glazed over, then something cleared in them Lorne isn't sure what.

"How long?" John asked Lorne looked at him blankly for a bit then understood.

"About a year and a half John, the IOA gave up on looking for you but we still asked around subtly every mission we went on, every new planet. All the men on base under your command, all the scientists, medical personal who went off world. Rodney hasn't had a good night's sleep in ages, Ronon beats the marines up in the gym and Teyla gives him a run for his money. Even Colonel Caldwell, and Colonel Ellis ask around when they can when the go on trading supply runs in the galaxy. Shockingly Woolsey also never gave up searching even if he did try and hide the fact that he was helping us, at first we thought he had given up then we realized that anytime we got a little lead no matter how small he would give us his full support in following it. Then the other week is when we got the real break in finding you, we asked as we normally do if anyone had seen you and we showed them a picture. A man said that he was scavenging on another planet at night and saw you go through the gate, he even had the address. We went but it was too late they already moved you but from the village said there it was only that day they moved you. It was the closest we ever had been of finding you, it gave us hope and it was enough to convince the IOA to reopen the case." Lorne said as he continued to tell John he held him tight in his hands afraid if he let go he would disappear again.

"You're not real." John said turning his head away.

_I don't wanna be down and__  
__I just wanna feel alive and__  
__get to see your face again but 'til then__  
__Just my echo, my shadow__  
__you're my only friend_

"John we are very much real and we must leave now if we wish to get home safe." Teyla said as she came into the cell.

"Home?"

"Yes John home." Rodney said as he walked in behind Teyla and Ronon behind him.

"Come on buddy." With that they left to go home.

_I'm out on the edge and I'm screaming my name__  
__like a fool at the top of my lungs__  
__sometimes when I close my eyes I pretend I'm alright__  
__but it's never enough__  
__cause my echo, echo__  
__oh my shadow, shadow_

John had been back in Atlantis for a week now and since then he's been pretty much bed ridden in the observation room. They said it was for his own good that, he needed to get better. He also found out that Major Lorne was no longer Major Lorne but Colonel Lorne and has been since a year now. He still hallucinated and still cried silently when no one was looking. They gave a shrink to talk too, then Woolsey had come to inform him that they were shipping him back to earth were his brother was to help look after him. He felt as if he had gotten everything back just so it could be taken away again. He felt alone, lost and afraid. He's supposed to be the strong one but he hardly if at all has any strength left. Teyla had come visit with Torren, the poor kid didn't even recognize him, apparently Teyla had shown Torren pictures of him but he looks a bit different or something. That was alright John didn't think he could handle being anywhere near the kid when he himself didn't feel right.

Rodney and Ronon came to visit one last time before they shipped back to earth, both saying they would visit often. John highly doubted that, with how busy it is on Atlantis he remembers making the same promise to his brother.

Once he was finally settled on earth in his brother's residence his brother had even gotten a personal nurse on staff to help take care of him. John even got his own room which he stayed in at all times. For a while when he first came here his brother, his brother's wife and kid visited him often. But then it was just the nurse and psychiatrist that he saw come visit. Now he spent most his day looking out the window down onto the ground stuck in his own head not able to find a way out. There was a uniform in his closet collecting dust; a purple heart on his dresser next to a picture that his brother had asked where it was taken from several times stating that he didn't recognize the ocean in the background. But even so with all the help that his friends and family had given him, they had all moved on with their lives and he was still here, still stuck in this time, still staring out a window at nothing.

_Hello, hello__  
__anybody out there?_

**THE END**

**Well that's it hope you liked it's kind of sad I know, but I was in the mood so I just wrote whatever first popped into mind.**

**Song: Echo by: Jason Walker**


End file.
